Lunch the next day turned out to be more than Lilly had bargained for. She called after bowling ended to let Beth know about the change in plans and to verify the time. The next day, she picked William up on her way and the pair walked toward the small café ten minutes early.
Beth rushed to meet them before they could reach the place. “Mom is here.” She started, then froze. “Wow, he really is gorgeous. I love the grey at the temples.”
“Told you.” Lilly grinned, ribbing William while he squirmed under the teen’s gaze.
Beth came back from lala land. “She overheard me talking to Andy and I guess she called in sick at work, but she didn’t tell either of us. We walked over here after she left and she followed.”
Lilly glanced up at William. “Well, you wanted to meet the family?”
He laughed. “Not in an ambush, but yes, meeting your mother today sounds delightful. You must be, Beth?” He held out a hand.
While Beth continued to drool over the man, Lilly led the way into the café. Spotting her mother and anxious younger sister wasn’t hard. The place seemed deserted for a Sunday afternoon. “Hi mom.” She called, trying to remain upbeat.
Her mother rose, eyes locked on William. “So it is him.” She breathed. “I hoped—”
“Ms. Raey, it’s nice to meet you.” He smiled and bent his head in a slight nod.
“You don’t recognize me.” She smirked.
Lilly had to admit that she hardly recognized her mother. Her regular attire consisted of jeans and t-shirts since she worked in back rooms and never had to interface with the public. Make-up was hardly known in the Raey household as it was her mother’s belief that it caused self-esteem issues. When her hair wasn’t in a pony tail, it was braided down her back in a long, loose trail. Today, however, she looked utterly different. She’s put effort into her appearance, combing out her hair and curling the ends so they tucked under. She had a light application of mascara and a light covering of blush and eye shadow. The lip gloss she’d chosen darkened her lips in an elegant way. In all, Lilly suddenly felt upstaged. She pulled at her pony tail self-consciously as William stepped beyond her line of sight, dropping his hand from hers.
What as her mother’s purpose here?
“I can’t say that I do.” William tilted his head. As soon as she pulled her hair back and up, and pulled off her glasses, he froze. “Juliet. We were math partners in our Sophomore year and then—”
His voice trailed off and Lilly swallowed. Could it get any worse?
“And then I got pregnant and missed the rest of the semester.” Juliet finished. “How serendipitous that you’re now dating my daughter when it was your best friend—”
She cut herself off as Lilly’s jaw dropped. For nearly twenty years she’d been in the dark about her father’s identity. Disaster.
“Is that why you called the police on me?” William’s eyes darkened. “Juliet, you know I had nothing to do with any of that.”
“You said that to the police too, and yet here we are, seven months later, and you’re dating my daughter publicly now.”
“Mom!” Lilly cut in. “Please stop this. If you would have given me a chance to speak back then, I could have explained the real story to you, and now you have another chance. Will you listen, or will you drive another wedge between us?”
Juliet’s tongue rolled over her teeth. “I’ll admit that you don’t look pregnant, but what exactly have you been doing? Are you living with him?”
Lilly glanced around them to a few curious sets of eyes. “Come on, mom, let’s go back to the apartment and we can discuss this in a more private setting. I’ll give you any answer you’re willing to listen to.”
Juliet clutched Andy’s hand. “Alright.”
“Can we get lunch first?” Andy looked between them. “I’m hungry, we ran out of food.”
“Hush.” Beth and Juliet said in unison.
“I have my car. I’ll head to the store and pick up some breakfast supplies and we can talk while we eat.” Lilly looked to her mother for agreement before she headed out.
“I want to go with Lilly.” Andy whined.
“No.” Beth and Juliet spoke together again.
The two groups parted ways out front and Lilly hurried to buy a generous supply of cereal, milk, eggs and any other ingredients she could think of. The total emptied her newly stocked account, making the check she’d just written to her sister uncashable, but the food was probably what they would have spent it on anyway.
William watched with a solemn expression. When they got back into the car he sucked in a breath. “I probably should have told you a little about my past. I didn’t remember your mother’s last name.”
“You grew up here?”
“No, but I spent a few years living with my grandparents because of some—issues—back home. Once they realized that the issue was not just in the friends I chose, they shipped me off to my uncle’s farm in Utah with the promise that I wouldn’t get to come back until I’d changed my stripes.”
“Are you a virgin?”
“Why is that the question you ask?” He sighed. “Does it matter?”
“I assumed you were by all the holier than thou talk, but you’re not, are you?”
“I am, actually, but only just. That’s one of the reasons I’m being extra cautious with you, Lilly. I know the slippery slope too well.”
“So what gives you the right to judge the rest of us? What did you and your friends do to my mother?”
“Now hold on.” He raised his hands angrily. “Your mother made a choice and the choice had consequences. Just like I told her, I had nothing to do with that night or the choice they made to lie to their parents and head off into the mountains together. I tried to talk my buddies out of it, actually. I’m not saying I was a saint. I was an idiot kid who got lucky that night and that’s about the point I realized that it was time to make some changes in my own life.”
“So you haven’t answered my question. How can you sit there and play goodie, goodie when you’re just as culpable as the rest of your friends? By your own admission you have a grey past.”
“I also believe in a Savior who allows and encourages us to change, to repent, and promises to help us move beyond past mistakes when we really make that kind of change in our lives. I told your mom, and I’ll tell you. I am not that boy. Not only have I matured and grown, but I’ve learned to give respect to my fellow men. I can’t change the past, but I certainly can change the present and future, and that’s what I did the summer of my senior year. I came home a different boy and I never looked back.”
Lilly held the steering wheel feeling the vibration of the idle under her hands. She considered everything she’d learned about the Perfect Professor in the last half hour and thought.
“Lilly, I think it’s best if I take the bus home from here. You need some time with your mother to sort out events from seven months ago, and we don’t need to cloud that with history from twenty years ago. Please, please promise me that you’ll come to my place when you’re done so we can talk. I’m not going to rehash my past, but if you have other questions, I’ll gladly answer them. I could tell by the look on your face that your mother never told you about your father. If you want to know him, I can tell you a few stories. I might even be able to find a way to contact him—”
“No.” She cut through the air with one hand, then returned it to the wheel. “No. I’m definitely not in a good place right now. I feel bad abandoning you in the middle of North Valleys, but I think you’re right.”
“Will you come to my house tonight? I don’t care how late it is.”
“I’m not going to promise anything.” She looked over at him. “William, my head is swirling.”
“I can see that, but I’d like you to remember one thing. Everyone has a past. Maybe yours doesn’t have any moments of regret, but you still have a past. Sometimes what happens there needs to remain there. Letting go of unnecessary weight; of who we no longer are, lightens us and allows us to move forward. I have moved forward. I’m so terribly sad to see that your mother has not been able to yet.”
He had a point. The greatest failing that Lilly could see in her mother was her refusal to forgive and move on. She seemed to cling to every hurtful comment, every sideways glance, and every negative thing.
The drive back to her mother’s place weighed on her. She’d watched William fade into the distance, worried about him a little, but mostly wondering what to do. He was right. Maybe dating in her own generation was best—for many reasons.
She parked in the familiar spot near her mother’s apartment and loaded up her arms with groceries. The townhome apartment looked even more ratty than the last time she’d seen it. Curtains hung crooked in the windows, and the peeling paint did nothing to help the dismal aura of the place. Lilly pushed open the unlocked front door. They’d long ago realized that locking it only suggested to thieves that there was something worthwhile inside.
With that thought in mind, Lilly dropped off her armload and hurried back to her car, double checking that she’d left nothing of value inside.
After helping her sisters stash most of the food, she went to town cooking with them like the old days and within minutes they were laughing and joking again. The laughter faded as Lilly’s mother entered the kitchen.
“Where is he?”
“He wanted me to be able to resolve my issues with you separate from his issues with you. I’m sure he’s willing to come back another day if you really want to lay into him.”
“No.” She blushed. “I was wrong to bring up all of that stuff. Seeing him again, it just brought it all back to me.”
“But you already knew who it was.”
“Yes, and no. We were only in the same class for half the semester. After I got pregnant, I had to leave school as soon as I started showing and I wasn’t allowed to come back until after I’d had the baby, you. After that, I never saw him again, though I heard he was the star of the basketball team in his senior year.”
“What happened to my dad?”
She shrugged. “I think his parents sent him to reform school. I’ve never spoken to him since the day I told him I was pregnant.” She laughed, embarrassed. “Well, I didn’t so much as tell him, as I screamed it in his face in front of the entire cafeteria. I’d tried three times to take him aside and let him know, but I think he suspected and didn’t want to deal with it.”
“You were all just kids.”
“They were a year older than me. William was in remedial science because he blew up the chemistry lab the year before, so they kicked him out of the class and made him repeat. He’s not the sweet innocent thing you think he is.”
“He’s also not a fifteen-year-old boy.” Why was she defending him? Lilly shook her head. “Back to the actual point of today’s visit, mom. I’m not you.” She felt a rush as her cheeks reddened, a by-product of saying something that was likely to blow up in her face, but she continued, letting the heat build. “I am not fifteen anymore. I didn’t get pregnant, and I haven’t made the same mistakes you have.”
“But you are obsessed with him. It’s not healthy. He’s using you.”
“I stalked him, mom. He didn’t even know I existed. I was the one being the creeper, sitting outside his home, waiting outside his work, following him around like some psycho.” She huffed, stirring the eggs more vigorously than she needed to. “Until the moment you had him dragged down to the station, he was unaware of my existence. He blew me off completely when I showed up and tried to apologize and he very nicely asked me never to speak to him again.”
“Yet you’re dating.” She challenged.
“Well, it so happens that we both sit on the same board. The carnival you attended was planned by him and I, and another woman. We worked to put it together for almost four months, and in that time we got to know each other. He already knew me, of course, but I got to know the real him and a few weeks before the carnival we sort of started to date, but not completely.”
“What does that even mean?” She settled herself on the side of the table, the anger replaced by a cool interest.
“It means that we have very different views on the world, and we’re not sure we can make this work, but we’re both interested in making the effort. I’ve given him a month to convince me that his way can work.”
“What is ‘his way’?” She stood and started pulling dishes from the cupboards.
“He’s Mormon, have you heard—”
“Yeah, I know all about them. Go on.”
“Well, the first time we kissed he kind of freaked out; he said it surprised him. The second time he sat me down and gave me a long lecture on how sex is special and he’s saving himself for his future wife.”
“From a kiss?” She paused, plates suspended on her outstretched hands.
“He sounds lame.” Beth added as she pulled out a few condiments.
“He’s cute though.” Andy added, pulling out the silverware.
“He may be cute, but I can’t tell if he’s elitist, or judgmental, or just plain odd.”
“Maybe all three.” Beth chuckled. “Sounds a lot like Phillip.”
“Who’s Phillip?” Her mother gave her a sharp stare.
Beth busied herself preparing the extras. “So, are you living with him?”
“Of course not. Do you really think the man would let me stay in his house with an attitude like that? He practically made me feel like a predator.” She hurried to add. “It wasn’t that bad, really, but I was very uncomfortable. I started researching his religion. I figured, if it’s really that much a part of him, I should probably take a moment to understand it.”
“The guy you’re describing isn’t the one I went to high school with.” Juliet shook her head. “The boy I knew pantsed nerds and flew their underwear on the flagpole for fun.”
“That’s cruel.” Andy settled herself in the far seat, waiting to be served.
“The William I know took a punch from a student who picked a fight with another at the school one day. It didn’t even phase him. He got clocked, spit out a mouthful of blood, then grappled the guy to the ground until campus security could get there.”
“Woah.” Andy’s wide eyes filled with awe.
“I’m not surprised.” Her mother smiled softly. “I said I didn’t see him again, but there was one time. It was in his senior year. A couple of his old friends were up to their normal tricks and I remember him walking straight up to them and taking them both on. He trashed them both, then stood over them, heaving, and told them to grow up. I just remembered that.”
“That’s more like the man I know.” Lilly dished out the plates and handed them off to Beth who circled the table, serving one to each chair.
“He’s good to you?” Lilly felt her mother’s gaze on her as she sat.
“Yes, mom, he’s very good to me.”
“And his family? I remember his sister, she was the same year as me. She was so loud.”
“I’ve only met one sister, and that was long before we were dating. It might have been the same one. If it was, she hasn’t changed.” They giggled and started in on the meal.
By the time they’d finished eating and chatting, the sun was long gone. Her mother rose, pulling Lilly into a hug. “I’ve missed you around here. Will you come back?”
“I can’t. Well, I mean, I could, but I signed up for classes next semester, and the gas is going to be too much if I live here.”
“She said she’d come and stay on the weekends though.” Andy pipped in.
Her mother gave her a knowing look. “Probably not, if she’s busy dating. But maybe one weekend a month?”
Lilly nodded. “Of course.”
“You look skinny. Are you eating enough?” Her mother pulled back her shirt, showing off her thin waist. “Getting enough rest?”
“Yes, mom, I’m fine.”
“Where do you live then, if not with him?”
“I live in a communal house. A bunch of us split the rent for cheap and it’s not far from either work or school.”
“Is it safe?” She followed Lilly toward the front door.
“The landlady does background checks on every tenant who moves in. We’ve been pretty steady though. In the seven months I’ve been there we only had one move out and move in. We all pretty much just work and sleep.”
“And date men twice your age.” She grinned. “If he’s really the man you describe, then I’m glad you found him. Just promise me you’ll be careful.” She lifted her brows and looked at her other daughters. “You know what I mean.”
Lilly coughed. “Yeah mom, thanks for that. I will.”
She turned her car onto the south freeway and considered her options. The conversation had gone better than she’d feared. Did she dare tempt fate by meeting with William tonight, or should she postpone for another day? As she took his exit, she questioned herself again, but autopilot did the hard work and she idled in front of his house minutes later.
As she got out, A thunderous engine rumbled by and Rob blared his horn, giving her a wave. She waved back half-heartedly. The Mormon mafia. There was a certain ring to it.
She knocked on the door twice, waited, and knocked again.
William pulled it open, relief evident in his features, and pulled her into a hug. He released her only a second later, leaving her reeling.
“Sorry. I am just so relieved that you came. I shouldn’t have hugged you.”
“No, it’s okay.” She stood on the step and questioned herself for a third time. “I know I didn’t promise, but I thought it was only fair that I came.”
His smile dropped and she watched his adam’s apple bob.
“I told you I’d give you a month, but I’m not sure exactly what that means. I need to know the real you.”
She saw a ghost of the previous smile return. “Okay. I’m willing to do that as long as you recognize that this isn’t just a proving ground for me. I feel like a yo-yo here, Lilly. Either you’re committed to trying, or you’re done.”
That surprised her enough to stop her next words. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“You are, and that’s a start. Now the question becomes, what do we do?”
“Go on dates?”
“When?”
“What, you want a set schedule?”
“Why not?”
“Stop being an accountant. Why can’t we just call it as we see it?”
“Humor me. You said I get a month.”
“Wow. I had no idea you meant you were going to regiment our dating.”
“Oh come on. Some of my plans take weeks to plan effectively, and if I don’t have at least some firm dates we’re going to end up sitting on the couch and watching TV.”
“Is that bad?”
“Not every now and then, but I don’t think of that as a date.”
“So what is dating?”
“And that’s the magic question. So, I’m assigning you the research project of finding out, and then planning half of our dates for the next month.”
“How frequently are we talking, how many dates do I need to plan?”
“Ha!” He yelled the words into the darkness of his yard. “Exactly. I’m glad to see that you agree with my need to plan.”
“Oh, you—” She glared at him. “That was tricky.”
“I’m thinking twice a week for planned ones, and then if we hang out beyond that, we can just call it like we see it?”
“Okay.”
“And cost needs to be at a minimum, because you’re saving up for college and I don’t want you draining your accounts for this.”
“Yes commander.” She gave him a false salute.
“Come on, Lilly, I’m trying to look out for you.”
“Fine. I’ll come up with date idea. When is the first one?”
“And at least half of them have to be with a group.”
“A group. What does that mean? We have to be out in public, so I can’t maul you?”
“We already had that discussion, that’s not one of my concerns. No, a group date, like multiple couples participating together in a joint activity.”
“You’re kidding. That’s kid stuff.”
“And you’re a kid. More importantly, I want to meet your friends. I want to see how you react when you’re with them. I want you to meet my friends and see how I react with them. I want my friends to become your friends and visa versa.”
“This feels more like a science experiment than dating.”
“Isn’t that the essence of dating? Experimentation to find your future spouse?”
She didn’t have an argument for that one. “Okay. When do we start?”
“Tuesday?”
“Like, every Tuesday?”
“Can you do that with your schedule?”
“I can put in a schedule adjustment saying I’m unavailable those evenings. When do you get out of classes?”
“Last class on Tuesdays is three, but I have to be in my office until five.”
“Okay, then I bring you a late lunch on Tuesdays followed by an office date unless you have students. After that the real date starts.”
“I like your thinking.” He grinned at her. “So you’ll handle Tuesdays?”
“And you’ll handle Fridays?”
“Most of mine should fit into a Friday evening schedule.” He nodded, pretending to think and rubbing his chin. “Of course, not all of them.”
“We only have a month.”
“And what happens at the end of a month?” He said.
“Well, I guess that ends the experiment of whether your Mormon dating methods work.”
“I may be preparing for a 1k race, but you better believe that I’m training for a ten.” He held out his hand. “Will you train with me?”
“This is one of your analogies again, isn’t it? Do you use these on your students?” She accepted his hand.
“My students love them. Just ask Pam.”
“Pam says your class is boring.”
He pulled her to him with a quick yank, slamming her into his solid chest. Lilly couldn’t say she minded the rough treatment as her heart hammered. “She does not.” He whispered.
“You’re right. She doesn’t.” She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment, accepting his gentle kiss.
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